things they don't tell you about southeast asia in the guidebook:

Your know in the cartoon where the sun comes up, the first ray of sun
hits the rooster, who then crows once? well here's what really
happens. The rooster starts crowing at about 4am, and doesn't stop
until 10 or so. There is a rooster directly outside your window no
matter where you are staying, be it a city of 15 million people, or an
island that has 2 dozen people living off of cashews. On the plus
side, eating chicken is more fun now that you hate them.

There are stray dogs everywhere. I'm going to start a charity that
just goes around the world and neuters dogs. wouldn't that be fun?
wouldn't everyone support that? on the plus side, they're all very
friendly and I haven't heard of anyone with rabies yet.

Every traveler is wearing one of 5 t-shirts. They sell more than 5
t-shirts over here, but only 5 would anyone buy (yes yes, you'll see
the occasional lunatic you decided it was a good idea to buy that
"Coma Sutra" t-shirt, complete with 5 stick figure drawings, but it's
pretty rare). Most people stick to asian beer t-shirts, and same
same... but different. I'm currently wearing the most innocuos of the
5 t-shirts: a coca-cola t-shirt, but in thai script. when you refuse
to carry more that 2 t-shirts, eventually you're going to buy a
t-shirt over here. it was only 4 dollars.

The more touristy a place is, the more the locals have developed ways
to make money off of you in every way possible. After a while in
thailand, you are truly shocked when someone asks you where you're
going, you tell them, and then they give you walking directions. what?
you don't want to drive me in your friend's tuk-tuk for 40 baht?
you're just being nice? what the hell? On the other hand, very few
people are trying to actually scam you, it happens, but is usually
pretty obvious. if someone says they'll take you somewhere for 100
baht, then they'll do it. they're just trying to make a living.

In other news, I'm going to malaysia in a day or two.